I've been posting pictures at facebook about campus life and different subjects from my photography school going on from Jan to the end of March.
Click on each topic
Village Two construction of third family unit
Village Two construction from Jan 4 to 20
Mixed photos of campus life
First week, including arrival day on Jan 3
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth. Ps. 121:1-2
Let’s discover the depth of God’s commitment to us. His help is rock solid as the hills. Thousands of dollars come in every quarter to pay student fees, yet there’s always a few that seem to wait longer than others for an answer. Did they do something wrong, forget something? No they have the same Daddy and He doesn’t play favorites. While it is good to test your motives in asking for something, don’t let go of God’s promises and words.
It isn’t easy to understand when God says wait. If we depend on constant assurances by immediate answers to prayer, doesn’t that weaken us for future tests? David might have been anointed the King of Israel, but he had a long wait before it became reality. Also he prayed and fasted for hours that his son would live, but accepted God’s answer when it came. Can our trust in a faithful God rebound in trying circumstances? It’s not the questions about the circumstances that offend God, it’s the heart attitude that creeps in that maybe we’ve forgotten to do something to help God love us more. If God being is treated like a vending machine…he’ll tell us specifically. Trust shouldn’t depend on what we get and here’s why.
Satan uses trying circumstances to make us doubt we hear God’s voice. Imagine what it was like for David to have a prophet come to his father’s house, select him, the youngest child, and later have to run and hide from Saul.
God uses circumstances to test and stretch us to believe in His unfailing kindness. If we keep seeking Him to get things, isn’t that tiring? Wouldn’t a parent say no sometimes for the child’s development? On the occasion God says no, how often do we immediately revert to thinking “I didn’t hear him correctly, or I needed more perseverance in prayer?” It’s all about whether we look to God and believe. He is rock-solid on our side.
It takes time for a tree to grow and give shade, it takes people time to find their destiny. God created both. Instead of looking around at all the "big trees", thinking they'll never give shade to a weary traveler, because their branches are still few and small, they still should appreciate their DNA, their personality, and their passion. An apple tree would be foolish to wish it were an orange tree. If a Douglas Fir tree became a palm tree, there would be no long-lasting strong homes for humans.
I'm choosing to pursue being a foster parent or an adoptive parent, not because it is a good thing to do, but because God designed it. I might have lost some years in this pursuit in being a parent or working with children, but that doesn't have to keep me from changing my mind in order to follow my God-given design.
Is there an old dream you let go of? Perhaps it's time for a change of course for you as well.
After losing 90 pounds, moving into a new condo and applying for certification as a foster parent, it's going to be even more challenging to post to this blog.
I sit here looking out over the University of the Nation's campus and the Pacific Ocean thanking the Lord for the future possibilities. At U of N, we've been challenged that since there's been a "crossing of the Jordan" we are going where we haven't been before. For me that means taking in one or two kids. The first hurdle is to complete the certification. The second hurdle is to complete Photo School in January which will be my last chance to add to my journalistic skill set before becoming a foster parent.
I love my cochlear implant. Using the phone is not a snap, but it does give me enough that I can conduct most of my business, such as checking on airline tickets, getting a new internet service, and calling about mortgages.
Now it's time to polish the transition in my novel, tentatively titled, "Hearing with her Heart." The main character, Judith experiences life on a Canadian cattle ranch, rides in rodeos, and struggles with severe hearing loss and often experiences loneliness. Being the only "deaf" one in her family and school hinders relationships, or so she thinks. There's a deeper issue that God brings to the surface, then sets her free.
When there is provision to purchase the first 1,000 books, then there's the possibility of getting it published by one of the companies that contacted me.
Go to www.ywamconnect.net/roaringlamb to see more writing, devotions and pictures.
Scare tactics. These words are bandied about freely on either side of the divide between those who appreciated ABC's The Path to 9/11 or those who thought it was a conspiracy. Contrary to the oft-repeated mantra about Max Blumenthal's discovery of a conspiracy, there's no basis for thinking David Cunningham's involvement meant that Youth With A Mission (YWAM) initiated the film, just because his father is the founder of that organization.
Edward Wyatt's Sept. 12 article (subscription only )More Questions of Accuracy Raised About ABC Mini-Series on 9/11 Prelude revealed that ABC initiated the project. Here's the relevant quote:
The project would appear to have more benign roots however. Stephen McPherson, the president of ABC Entertainment, and Quinn Taylor, the senior vice president for motion pictures for television and miniseries at ABC, first conceived the idea of a mini-series based on the independent Sept. 11 commission’s best-selling report in 2004. Mr. Taylor contacted Mr. Platt, who had a production deal with Touchstone, the Disney unit that produces series and movies for ABC and other networks."
Daniel Henninger of The Wall Street journal wrote, "Movies do a better job covering the war than the news media do." He commended David for giving us an understanding of the terrorist mindset. The movie probed the 1993 World Trade Center bomber Ramzi Yousef, and his uncle Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM) who has been moved to Guantanamo to await trial. KSM is identified as the mastermind of the 9/11 terror plot.
Cyrus Nowrasteh, the writer of the Path to 9/11 wrote a rebuttal to the critics who branded him a right-wing zealot. His The Wall Street Journal article reports:
The hysteria engendered by the series found more than one target. In addition to the death threats and hate mail directed at me, and my grotesque portrayal as a maddened right-winger, there developed an impassioned search for incriminating evidence on everyone else connected to the film. And in director David Cunningham, the searchers found paydirt! His father had founded a Christian youth outreach mission. The whiff of the younger Mr. Cunningham's possible connection to this enterprise was enough to set the hounds of suspicion baying. A religious mission! A New York Times reporter wrote, without irony or explanation, that an issue that raised questions about the director was his involvement in his father's outreach work. In the era of McCarthyism, the merest hint of a connection to communism sufficed to inspire dark accusations, the certainty that the accused was part of a malign conspiracy. Today, apparently, you can get something of that effect by charging a connection with a Christian mission.
All the quotes about YWAM that supposedly proved that "connection" are just in the minds of those who believe there was a conspiracy. They've ground the reputations of the cast and producers into the dirt for what? Just to prove that the movie was a lie? ABC does have fact checkers, that just might be why the movie was delayed from a May showing to the Sept 10 date.
US of A seems to be just like the portly businessmen seen at the end of the miniseries, dazed and unable to see the bigger picture. Why did it happen? That's the most important question of 9/11. Our lives depend on the correct answer.
Getting a map that makes great improvements is not an easy task. I've got two new maps on my auria, and can't seem to tell the difference between them, except one is louder. I do use the phone, and stumble over phrases, which isn't helping my confidence any. But there's lots of time when paying attention to people talking around me, that I understand what they are saying sans lips.
I have one more appointment on Dec 15, and a specialist from AB is coming. If I can get more volume without more twitching, it might give me the edge. I already got that improvement at a previous map, but still crave to turn this thing up some more...but then there are certain noises, like the road traffic about 100 yards away is already pretty noticeable.
I love my Auria, and would like to get another cochlear implant. I'll give it a couple years, then pursue it with whatever insurance company I happen to be with. The main carrier is Medicare, so I don't know if others have had much success in getting a second CI with them.
Teaching Keiko to go down on command was the hardest one after conquering the fear of the stairs. After reading training information from the internet, it talked about getting the dog to first sit, then extend the treat just far enough to require the dog to stretch out his nose. If the dog moved his rear end off the ground, he heard "oops" telling him he didn't get it right. If he moved either front paw any distance, he heard the click and got a treat. This took me about four days of repetition and stretching him further out before he got all the way to the ground. But once he did it, I stopped and gave him a extra helping of treats and praised him with much excitement...he didn't forget it. He does down mainly on hand signals rather than voice, so that's the next step, to teach him the voice command along with the hand signal.
His treats are varied. He did work with pieces of dog food, but grew tired of it quickly. His favorite? Tiny slivers of wieners. I'm trying other food, because wieners are so greasy.
Last week, the trainer told me that Keiko needs to have his obedience training down pat first before moving into the alert training. From scanning the internet, I've come across the clicker training, and the results are astounding. First I need to post a journal entry from two weeks ago, so you can see how far he's come in a short time.
Training a new dog is challenging. With the right encouragement dogs do things that normally terrify them. Most dogs fear being off the ground the way certain people fear heights. Training dogs to walk over a moving seesaw in an agility class takes lots of time and more than just encouraging words. Dogs need something that excites them so much that it overcomes the fear. For some a squeaky toy works, for others only the reward of food will entice them to take a step of faith.
My new dog feared walking on the stairs to my condo. As long as the stairs were solid concrete and didn’t show any daylight between them, he was fine. If the could see daylight, he would not budge at all. If the food reward was within a few feet where he could stretch out his neck and eat without moving his back feet, he’d climb two stairs. Only when he trusted me did he climb additional stairs with tidbits of food on each stair—up, but not down.
Now that it was time for him to walk down the stairs with me, he balked. He ate every piece of food within his reach and ignored the food if it meant he must move his back feet off the top stair. Why didn’t he trust me now when he just learned that going up the open-space stairs would not cause him to fall? I clapped, clucked, snapped my fingers, spoke kind words, hung food in front of his nose, but he wouldn’t move. It was time to do something more drastic.
I picked him up and put him right in the middle of the stairs where he would be terrified. After a few minutes, he walked upstairs, knowing he could do this safely. After two more repeats of this, he finally chose to come down with me—another fear conquered. He got rewarded with food tidbits, hugs and praise. Now he’ll be excited about getting to go to new places because of overcoming his fear of stairs.
The most interesting thing I've found out about Keiko, is that he's afraid of heights. This is seen when he bounds up concrete stairs, but balks at the platform stairs which is nothing more than a bunch of slabs suspended in the air on top of one beam. He's come up a half-flight with lots of "doggie treat" encouragment, but balks at the second flight. He's afraid, but I also wonder his soreness keeps him from jumping since he got neutered.
He really is very pretty, just my style in black and white. He looks to be a non-barker and that is worth its weight in gold. For another setting a occasional barker would be okay, but where I'm living, it is pretty important that he's quiet.
I've already had to explain to one of the residents in my building that he's an assistance dog. I also mentioned that if enough owners get together at the Nov. 4 th meeting, the rules against pets could be changed. It was a relief to see that they already accept hearing dogs and I might be the only dog owner in this 70+ unit condomimum.
He's be a lot of work since there's no yard to just turn him loose in. He'll always be on a leash and I'll have to pick up his droppings. But these retractable leashes are wonderful. Never had one before, but it certainly does the trick. He's going to be in the crate at night, and I'm hoping he's quiet then too, so he can stay in the bedroom with us.
I got a call from my audiologist, Ken Pugh, and my next mapping will be on Sept 15. I say it is about time! I need a phone map really bad. I certainly loved having my cell phone with me today since I needed directions to the vetrinarian's place. It really is hard to find. Turned around at least a half-dozen times. But there's no markers along the road, you have to know exactly where to get off the highway before you can even find the mailboxes. I expected a sign I could see from the highway, and that's one of the quirks of living in Kona, signs are limited in size and location.
I'm excited about my dog even though he's kooky about open-air stairs.
One thing I've been hoping for a long time is to train a signal dog, or a service dog that will alert me to fire alarms. I may add other things, but my hearing is so much better that I hear the phone ringing and would probably hear someone knocking on the door, except when I'm listening to music through my head phones. It is at night where I don't have anything hooked up to a lamp to wake me up if a fire occured.
I've been watching the classifieds and stopping by the Humane Society dog pound, hoping for just the right dog to come along. Even with years of experience with animals, it is hard to determine a dog's behavior at a kennel, but two things became clear, he didn't whine (hey I can hear those now) and didn't bark all the time. Kiko is the name they gave him, but its going to be changed to Keiko, the name of the whale in the movie "Free Willy." Well I'm freeing Keiko!
He's a Jack Russell mixture, and my main fear is housebreaking an older dog. That's where crate training comes in, and hopefully he will see his kennel as a refuge rather than punishment. I'm awaiting his arrival from the vet tomorrow, where he's gone for his neutering operation.
So why get a dog now? It is for many reasons other than just the hope he'll alert me to certain noises at night. There's companionship, there's the potiential of relating with more people as I'm out exercising him, and hey I'll get some exercise too.
I've just found out that the condo association does have exceptions for signal dogs in their rules, so there's no need to educate them about the laws about service dogs. I'll have to pick up the poop until the day I can afford a bigger place...
I'm excited and know there's a ton of work ahead of me. There's a trainer in Hawi, an hour north of me that knows how to train hearing dogs. I'll have to get in touch with her and see what can be worked out.
My hope is to journal the joys and frustrations of training a rescue dog. He's a confirmed outdoor dog, so I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but his personality makes me think there's hope.
Check in for more posts...
Listening to a car mechanic speaking double-time and in "car lingo" language overwhelmed me today. In these circumstances it is easy to lose confidence in this new hearing ability. Getting upset tends to make my hearing even worse. But talking with a different mechanic made me realize that "hearing folks" have troubles understanding certain people also. It is one of those times it is important to focus on the moments when communication (without lip-reading) is possible with my cochlear implant.
After thinking about my struggle with the car mechanic, it dawned on me that perhaps the volume was too low...and it was. It wouldn't have completely cleared up the difficulty in understanding the fast-speaking car mechanic spouting different lingo than normal conversation, but it would have helped matters a bit. Being uptight or nervous really interferes with my comprehension...hard to remember that too. Am I disappointed in those moments...some...but it is not a setback, just a clue to how complex hearing can be. I'm still not too different from someone trying to learn English, the words crowd the brain (I must have a small one! just kidding), and it can't keep up with the newness of it all.
Now the best thing to do? Never take my hearing for granted...
By
the seventh month it seems totally normal to hear. It gets harder to remember
that these sounds are created by a cochlear implant. Hearing aids never allowed me to enjoy life like I do now. The memories
are fading of how bad my hearing was before, in
spite of the fact there is dead
silence when the CI's are taken off for the night or for swimming.
My
phone skills took a leap into the stratosphere during my time away from the
CapTel phone I used at work in Hawaii.
During my time with family and friends in Oregon, I've discovered that
using a regular phone does work for me most of the time. I've conducted
business such as making appointments, contacting my real estate agent, talking
with friends over a landline phones with minor difficulty. Some voices are still not
good for me...mainly high pitches. There
are bad hearing moments, but most of the time I get what the other person is
talking about. Now that I'm using a cell phone all the hearing folks think I'm
just one of them!
I've not had a new mapping (computer
programming of my device) since May and am way overdue. I'm only using
one program, and plan to get the other two program settings ready for phone use
and for music use. Currently my usable map allows me to hear all the sounds
around me, and a phone map would cut external noises so that the speaker's voice
is easier to understand.
So cool to have a phone in my pocket, and not
feel stranded at the airport or any other place wondering where the TTY phones
are and if they actually work. If I'm at the store and think of something
another person needs, I can pull out my cell phone and call them...hey I went
from stone age to ultratech!
I'm so grateful to hear. Thank you Jesus
for making this possible.
Tomorrow night, I'll be listening to people around the campfire. It's something that always bugged me, that it was too dark to have a conversation. But this time....
I'm listening to a cricket outside my bedroom...there's also a sprinkler going. I've been using the phone unassisted most of the time...since my CapTel is back in Hawaii...it is a good thing, for the practice is giving me confidence.
In noisy situations, cochlear implants don't work that well, and that was obvious when I sat down with my friend Lorrie at the Point restaurant. I still need a map for those types of conversations I also need it for phone use, since I have to walk to the quietest part of the house in order to call anyone. No fans, no tv noise and so on.
Yesterday, I poured my pop over a bunch of ice, something I don't do very often. The resulting fizz captured my attention...it was so loud I thought it was something else altogether. But I noticed the noise started and stopped everytime my cola created a head of bubbles over the ice. Ah, such a small thing, but impossible to hear before my surgery.
So one day I can do the other ear, but I'm not in a hurry. I'm one of those who wants upgraded technology before going bilateral. Direction of sound is great, but increased clarity is my priority. I'm very pleased with the quality of what I'm hearing. There's glitches such as a gravelly sound in men's voices, but I'm not complaining.
God is SO GOOD!
I'm in Sweet Home, Oregon at my parent's house and it is wonderful to explore the new sounds. While there's lots of birds in Hawaii, there are no crows. That sound was easy for me to figure out, since they were loud enough for my old hearing aids to pick up. But the sound I hold in my heart as one lost in all these years--sort of a measuring stick--is the song of a cricket. A friend brought a box that played the sound of a cricket, but I still wanted to listen to those around my childhood home.
Just one little bugger, but that cricket sure did sound sweet to my ears. I moved around, listening for the sound to get louder, since that is the only clue to direction of sound (only hearing with one ear) and when I got too close, the fiddling stopped. Well, there's plenty more new sounds waiting for me to hear them for the first time. But this one is special...it tells me how much I've regained...I did hear them as a very young child.
There's a bug zapper, and one of those street lights at my parents house, and I located them with my ear, before someone told me what the noise was. I also cherished hearing my niece and nephew's voices. They certainly turned the volume up on these kids! Where do I go to turn it down again? Hehe
One of the favorite parts was doing some phoning to local people since I don't have my CapTel phone with me. I managed to make arrangments to meet them somewhere and it was a great feeling. Imagine my frustration when a couple days later, the same phone seemed to have so much static on it, that voices disappeared and became impossible to hear. I switched to a different phone, and voices are clear, but this one doesn't allow the volume to be turned up. I tried to contact customer support, but couldn't make heads or tails out of what she was saying...this time using a cell phone that pumped out the sound through "conference calling" or where everyone can hear the conversation. My parents had a hard time understanding also, so perhaps it was an accent throwing me off.
Phones are an on and off affair for me, but it is getting where I can get basic understanding of what is being said. I've got another mapping appointment next month (I hope) and some more fine tuning is needed to get those voices louder and clearer.
Facial twitching is not really a problem anymore. It's there, but the volume is high enough that I don't need to pump it up and suffer the consquences of "winking" during certain sounds.
Well this is way too long...consquence of putting off writing for several weeks. I'll be hearing some new stuff at my parents house, and plan to write about these CI moments more often.
Due to force of my lip-reading habit, I've only gradually been aware that I can hear entire conversations without looking at the person. It works best if they are within a few feet, in a quiet setting, and they don't mumble!
I sat in a large room with 12 people, each of them praying at different times. One voice across the room seemed really good, not enough for every word, but I just kept smiling as more understanding poured in. I have to pinch myself to remember that it's happening without my looking at her. But the one sitting on my left sure came through bell clear. So nice to have speech recognition even if it is dependant on a quiet setting.
Listening to Mozart again. I'll have to seek out more of these relaxing songs. Passionate songs, full of quick notes are fine, but I like having them sound out a bit longer, so they can be savored.
People don't know how good this hearing can be. I just get this big ol' silly grin on my face when speech recognition comes along without the lip-reading to back it up. Most of the time I'm looking at the person, so this progress is even sneaking up on me. Sure makes social events a lot more relaxing. YES! YES!
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