Roaring Lamb

Keep turning the volume up

Ever since I received my cochlear implant, I've been nudging the volume higher.  When I went for my 5th mapping and got the offending electrodes tamed so they didn't make my eye twitch so much, the volume seemed just right.  Now about three weeks later, I'm pushing the volume up again, which means there's no safe zone as far to stop my "winking"  It is barely discernable.  People have to look closely at my left eye to even see it.  But when the volume is strong, the twitching becomes a little more visible.

I've realized that my hearing is much closer to someone with a mild hearing loss.  This is awesome compared to my former hearing status as profound loss.  People ask me if my hearing is clear.  I say that it certainly is the difference between night and day.  If they think I never had hearing, I correct them and say:  I could hear, but it wasn't very usable.  A horn honking.  Mumbled voices.  Loud music without distinction, like a radio station out of tune.

But I love hearing the birds, hate the sound of vacuums.  I loved the sound of the baby crying in the beginning, now it gets on my nerves some if it keeps going.  (We have an unusual office situation, poppa brings baby to work, momma picks it up about 2:00 p.m. after she works in the morning)  Most of us don't mind, the baby's smiles make up for the occasional tantrum. 

I've got one old setting from before my 5th mapping, and it still makes music sweeter, but it is no good for hearing voices loudly enough.  After moving from one condo to another and getting settled in, it took time to get back in my routine of listening to music every morning and evening.  I also couldn't update this blog due to lack of internet service.

The internet problem isn't solved until May 5th, as I'm piggybacking onto a neighbor's wireless.  There's at least 5 computers doing the same so the broadband is more like dial-up speed.  I'll be posting as soon as my DSL line is reinstated.  Took me two weeks even for an itty bitty move across the parking lot.  Go figure, even with "making the lines digital" or whatever they do. 

Screaming monkey

During my pre-CI days, I played with my friend's monkey (a black stuffed toy with a touch sensitive trigger) . With my hearing aid I could barely hear the scream. I just batted it lightly and oww... it surprised me with its loud shriek! It is one of those crazy reminders of how much my hearing has changed.

I did try to answer the phone today, but other noises in the office interfered. I didn't understand their words. Some of the words made sense, but with another computer playing music very loudly, my processor cannot seem to sort out and make each type of sound distintive enough for me to understand. I do have the technology to hook to the phone directly, and eliminate the background noise. If my job depended on it, that would be available, but I like the freedom of just using the T-mic. The T-mic doesn't require any action, no switches, or changing ear hooks.

I'll be needing to up my volume a little bit more without having the facial twitching. The fifth mapping eliminated most of the problem, but unless sound clarity can be brought into sharper focus, turning the volume higher seems to help matters.

Oh I'm tired. Just moved all the stuff from a one-bedroom condo to a recently remodeled one. One blessing of taking the CI off at night...I don't hear the traffic noises. I really am not even paying attention to the traffic noise with the CI either...goes to show how quickly my brain has tuned out certain sounds.

There's no way I would even consider a hearing aid anymore.... a cochlear implant does so much more, just like a 300 # muscleman.

Got a demo battery

I'm looking forward to trying out the extended battery tomorrow.  It is about 1/4 inch longer and it looks a little thicker too.  With this battery, it might last an entire 16 hr period, but 12 would be lots better than the 8 1/2 hours with the smaller batteries.  I tend to use my Platinum in the morning since it doesn't need batteries replaced before using.  (Platinum refers to my body worn processor, about the size of a deck of cards)

I've not tried to compare my new program on my Auria with the old programs on the Platinum with music.  I did listen carefully today to the live music where someone was playing the violin.  I couldn't make out the violin sound above the keyboard, and two guitars.  Of course the sound of 500 people singing would drown out hearing one instrument.

I love instrumental music especially when it is solo.  This morning someone turned on their computer to play music and organ music blasted the entire office area until they figured out how to silence it.  I cannot tell the direction of the music, but loved what I heard. 

Also today I answered the phone, it was a call that I expected, and since they didn't call the CapTel number, it was a "cold turkey" call. I didn't have text to rely on, so I asked for repeats and got what she said pretty well.  Although when she went on too quickly, I did have to say, "Hold on, I didn't get all that." I'll still have to wean myself from using text, but I'm okay with being dependent on that phone for a while longer. 

Don't know how people with cochlear implants do with singing with music, but that is one intense desire that is growing.  Pitch perception is something very difficult to do with a CI.  I've always liked the music, but cannot trust my voice, since most of the time loud music drowns out hearing it.  The opposite problem also occurs, when I'm singing along with a solo instrument, I cannot hear both my voice and the keyboard at the same time.  However I believe that with hard work by playing a piano in quiet and singing along with it, confidence in my hearing will increase.

Evaluation of the 5th map

With the new map, there's not a lot of enviromental noises that cause facial twitching.  If it is turned up really loud, it does come back, but it isn't necessary to make it that loud.  But I still switch to program three (a program not changed at my 5th appointment) for music, even if it feels uncomfortable with twitching, because it makes the sounds fuller.  There's a wider range of sounds and the high notes are rich and detailed.

There's volume difference between these programs that's for sure.  When the volume wheel is set for maximum loudness on program one and it is switched to program three, it way too much ... much like some rock concerts.  In fact, if I switch directly from program one to three without lowering the volume I can feel it in my eye and cheek.  Yet even with adjusting for the volume difference I still seem to prefer music on my old program three.  With one exception, I wouldn't want people watching me listen to music on that program!  Might lead some to think I'm winking at them!

Birds are as clear as ever.  Planes sound like planes, and helicopters sound just like they should.  Women's voices seem to have taken a hit with the new map, but it is a slight difference, and could be a matter of perception rather than reality.  One preconcieves how it sounded better with my 4th map, when in fact it could be pretty much the same with this 5th map. 

Haven't heard any symphanies, except the soundtrack of the movies.  But I've listened to a violin playing solo, and it seems really nice.  Coarection:  it is more than nice, it is really wonderful.  Thank you Lord.

Keeping my eyes closed

Took a chance and answered the home telephone(not a CapTel) today and figured out the caller wanted my roommate.  Decided it was safer to tell him she wasn't here rather than taking a message.  My compression on the phone needs work, but the home phone might be the problem too.

But it is obvious that understanding people without seeing them is greatly improved since the first month.  For example, when someone was praying behind me, I understood 80% of what she said even though she had a New Zealand accent.  Other voices were not as clear. 

I listened to the Lord of the Rings music, it was like watching the movie for the first time.  It does sound much better when using headphones than just the ordinary speaker on the TV.  I might pop the movie in just to hear the music.  Be tempting to purchase the soundtrack from one of the music stores.

Someone pointed out the cardinal's song to me, but I can't seem to memorize the sound.  I listen to some of the other birds and can tell which songs are not the cardinal except one.  Seems like some birds would have more than one call, but that's something I've never learned.  Mynah birds are also hard for me to remember.  Maybe a similar thing happens with speech sounds, that it takes time to recognize it quick enough to create the word in my head.

Singing along

While I fear my singing is off-key, it is still so nice to be able to hear the melody and recognize it. If it is a really familiar song, it is possible to sing along without seeing the printed words. This amazes me to no end.

I heard the flapping of the flags today. I was taking pictures of the two flags at half-mast, one for USA and the other for Hawaii. They are at half-mast in memory of Pope John Paul II out of respect for a man who influenced history.

At first all the office noises drove me crazy. Now, conversations going on around me are not so bothersome. I still listen to music part of the day while writing, but it's not an absolute necessity like in the beginning. Instrumental music is very soothing. A couple of months ago the piano and violin sounded pretty bad. They sound good now! I'm rejoicing and loving it.

Voices on the telephone

Another result of my fifth mapping is that I can turn up the volume enough that voices on the phone are much clearer. I avoided turning it high because of the facial twitching. I talked to a variety of people and only one voice seemed far away, so I asked "Do you have a soft voice?" She replied, "Yes." That explained why I depended on captioning for that conversation. But that is the only difficult moment on a wonderful day.

Fulfilling the dream of:
being able to sing along with the congregation with my eyes closed happened today.
hearing an opera type voice without accompanionment happened today...I cried.
calling my family and friends and understanding their conversation happened today.
listening to violins and savoring every note...happened today.

Is my hearing at 100%? No. But today is a day of rejoicing. Sounds with this cochlear implant beats the pants off any hearing aid produced sound. It does take time for sounds to become clear, so there's no instant gratification.

Over time I'll wean myself from relying on captioning on the telephone and TV. For TV, concentrating on voices alone is too much work. I'll stick with captioning for now even though I could use headphones to hear better. Years of believing I cannot "hear" without captioning will take time to undo.

If my phone rings and the captioning is not on, I'll probably be able to handle the call, and ask them to call back if needed in order to get captioning assistance(on a CapTel phone at my workplace only.) The challenge to lose the phone phobia will take time. What if there's another soft voice on the line? Of course telling them to speak up is one option. The craving to know exactly what is said will have to be moved to a lower priority, in other words, if the conversation isn't stalling, then 100% hearing isn't needed.

Cat's purr

Some sounds come and it takes a little effort to remember this is a new one for me.  The cat's purr is one that was easy to feel, but not heard without touching the cat.  Not only did the meow get my attention, but also the purr. 

Also in the house I'm staying in for the next few days, there are several picture frames and candle holders on top of the piano. As I walked past the piano, a sound grabbed my attention.  The second time I heard it,  dawned on me that this tiny rattling sound of one of the objects on the piano could be heard above the music playing on the stereo.  That amazed me.  I also discovered the clinking of a second hand sweeping across the face of an antique metal clock.

So many more sounds to be discovered.  Even hearing the monthly emergency siren seems amazing.  The ambulance or police siren just now reminded me that it sounds pretty normal.

On another note, there is no DSL connection at this friend's house, so my updates are not going to be as frequent until I get back home on Feb 7th.