Too easy to forget

New hearing moments come all the time, they just are not so easy to spot.  I remember listening to a rerun on TV and it played "Silent Night"  I discovered the piano player used a different key, a lower harmony that I'm used to.  But it reminded me of how far I've come.  Before my CI I would just play "the tune I remember" in my head, substituting it for the real sounds from the piano.

I still have mixed results in using the phone.  There's times things are fairly clear, and others where it is pretty muddled.  It is obvious that when there's no pressure to hear them, and I'm more relaxed, then the understanding is much clearer.  How can you relax however when you've been put on hold by those dratted auto-attendants?  It is also a mapping need, because I still have the sensitivity set too high for phone use...can't change it on an auria, and I'm not planning to change my lifestyle to use the body-worn device which does allow for sensitivity changes.

My identity is still ungoing many changes.  Am I a hearing person?  A deaf person? How do I respond to people after the realization comes I missed something critical, but it is in a group situation.  Those are challenges that take time to sort out even nearly six months later.  So it is almost schziophrenic.  Night times and battery changes turn me into a deaf person.  Loud external noises keep me as a moderately deaf person when trying to hear a conversation.  But in quiet places, I'm nearly good as new with hearing on one side.

So patience is the key.  So is the willingness to admit that the cochlear implant, while astounding, doesn't convert me into a normal hearing person.  Hard to describe this, but it sure makes it tricky for personal relationships, because if you believe you hear everything, but your actions show otherwise....they'll still think you are stuck up or not paying attention...  WAah!  Finding the balance isn't all that easy.

Comments

[Mei-Li]

hey remember me!! I had NO IDEA you went and got a CI.. how do you like it?!!? congrats on getting one!!!!!

I'm on YIM you know who i am there. =)
Talk to me!
Mei-Li

[Brandie]

Hi! I enjoy reading your blog! I would like to add it to the "other CI blogs" section on MY CI Blog. May I have your permission to do so? Maybe you could put mine on yours too. Let me know!

-Brandie