Roaring Lamb

Maybe it isn't so bad after all

While I'm not appreciating the loudness of bird chirping on program 2, the advantage of using that program is starting to outweigh the intial annoyances.  It is a mixed blessing, for I can turn up the volume and gain slightly better speech understanding, but the knowledge that the reduced midtone and bass pitches keeps it from being a superior program.

When people ask how I hear, it really is a difficult task.  One example I've been using is that the sound I hear now is similar to a pixelated picture.  You can see the picture, know what it is, but there are rough edges that detract from the overall quality.  After the third month improvements are not that noticiable. 

I've been giving it some thought about headphones.  Music comes through much fuller and pleasing while using headphones, and I suspect anything on TV would become easier to hear if I tried headphones.  I keep using captioning, since it relieves me from having to work to hear.  Not a good stragegy, since it slows down the progress on speech recognition.  Maybe this is because I'm between two camps of thought.  There's a ton of experts and other CI users that say that hearing comes by learning, by working on auditory training.  Then there's others that say "let the hearing come to you"  Because I live on the Big Island where there's little or no auditory training, and would have to sacrifice time and money to travel to Honolulu, I've defaulted into the "let the hearing come to you" camp.

I love my CI, it really means that makes it possible to communicate with "the impossible to lip-read people." of which there were many on the campus.  I still have to step out more boldly and use my hearing, but I get plenty of practice each day anyhow.  For those who never learned to lip-read, take heart because even without that there's plenty of sound information coming in that it will make sense, though you'll feel like a foriegner learning English again in some cases.  Each of us are different.  Without lip-reading, I would still understand plenty, but require repeats.  As of now, I seldom need repeats except on the phone.  This is because my CI has yet to be optimized for use on the phone.

It just works.

changing opinion?

I've been trying out three new programs, hated two of them in the beginning, but one of those is gaining ground, though I can tell there's missing fullness to the sound.  It is a little like turning up the treble full blast, the bass is squelched some.  But I was trying to read and listen to music at the same time, and if I used program 3 the twitching made reading a little difficult.

So many new sound experiences yet to go, I went to Borders today and was totally overwhelmed with where to start in finding some music to buy.  Some good friends of mine gave me a Borders gift card and suggested buying music.  I've listened to samples at Walmart, but today at Borders I listened to a genre I've never heard in my life.  It was Appalachian style music, quite a wide variety. Some of it was vocal, some violin, another in fiddling style.  All of it was entrancing, however my roommate listened  to the music sample and told me she didn't like it.  Then I asked her if it was the music or the words that turned her off.  It turned out to the the words.  I'm not understanding the lyrics except in cases I've heard or sung the song before.  I really don't want offensive lyrics!  So I stuck to some safer choices, one Vivaldi violin concerto, and another CD of various Christian artist.

more reactions

My favorite hearing experience today came while standing at the counter of the mailroom on campus.  I was folding the campus weekly paper, when a friend asked "May I have one?"  From my daydreaming, absentminded state I handed her a paper, and began folding others.  Suddenly it dawned on me that I heard her, and did not even anticipate it at all.  I hear phrases like this and they are clear as a bell.  Now if all the rest of the English language were so easy!

Two of the new programs are not very popular with me after trying them over the weekend.  Program 2 sounds tolerable enough, not tinny or extremely harsh like program 1.  But I still turn the volume up pretty high and that seems to bring on minor twitching, though it is decreased from earlier programs. 

My favorite program is the third one, it sounds mellower and richer.  I hear a huge difference between the programs and it doesn't take me long to weary of the high-frequency emphasis that program 1 and 2 have.  Birds are a major culprit.  With program 3, high frequency sounds are evenly loud with bass or midtone sounds--not true with the other programs

One thing I remembered from my new programs is that I didn't really hear the police siren until it was almost on my tail.  He just zoomed into the right lane to go around me.  Another police car came along, it it didn't seem loud enough to me.  But I did have the volume on my radio up pretty high.  And the rental car is pretty sound-proof.

This CI is wonderful, these problems are minor, and I would live with them anyway, because my hearing is so wonderful, especially those violins I heard recently.

6th mapping and reactions

This hearing experience is both exhilirating and frustrating.  I'm on the threshold of hearing complete sentences on the phone, but need a very quiet surrounding to accomplish that.  But the joy of hearing certain things far outweigh the annoyances.  Such as hearing my parent's voices on the phone, the strange birdsong of a cardinal, and listening to my favorite Bob Fitts CD.  My new sounds today happened because I cook so seldom.  I listened to the ticking of a timer, the boiling of water, and then the pasta boiling over! 

I've come home with three new maps, one very similar to the program used for the last two months, and two softer ones created with NRI.  I can't explain NRI, but somehow my implant senses when my hearing nerve responds to the electrical stimulation and maps out a rate of stimulation that isn't overpowering.  I am a power junkie and immediately noticed both of these NRI maps were softer.  Other differences will come as I listen to them over the next weeks.  I can already tell that on program one, with a narrower pulse rate (can't explain that either) is too lightweight, focusing on high frequencies correctly and not pulling in enough mid or bass sounds quickly enough.  Voices can be heard clearly, but music quality suffered.  Program two is much fuller, but it is  program 3 that is most similar to the one for the past two months.  It sounds more orchestra-like.  More range of sound.  For example:  I live close to a moderately busy highway, and with either one or two, I could clearly hear a bird piping away constantly, and the traffic faded into the background (not a completely bad thing, but this is just an example) When using program 3, all sounds seemed to be equally loud, not just the high frequency bird song.

My highlight was talking on the phone without using CapTel.  I still struggle with topic changes, but once the topic is clear, I can move along by piecing together the words I do hear clearly with some educated guessing as to the rest of them.  Makes me humble though for the wrong guesses.

When talking to hotel clerks, or cashiers, I seem to need repeats,  usually in noisy environments.  However, in most cases my lip-reading skills and my new hearing make a perfect team for speech understanding.  And my hearing progresses, not as quickly but definitely for the better.

Another mapping tomorrow

Now that work has slowed down enough, I'm heading back to Honolulu for another mapping.  When calling my audiologist, he let me know that an Advanced Bionics specialist would be coming...this WEEK!  OH!  Well, it is a chance to see if I can get good quality sound and get rid of more of this facial twitching.  I cling to music, so hopefully the changes do not sacrifice the quality of the sound, but actually improves it.

I still need a noise program, and probably want to keep one program similar to the current one if the new map changes my music enjoyment.  So that leaves only one more program slot for the tech, except they can give me some others to put on my platinum to try at home, since I can switch to it for listening to my CD's

The appointment came so quickly, it turned out to be Memorial Day weekend in Honolulu.  Guess what, the hotels are packed!  Hopefully the appointment will allow me enough time to fly back to Kona, but oh dear, there's a pack of people coming over to Kona, so the planes are full.  So that means a overnight stay in that case.  Hurray for Honolulu.  But I won't know until tomorrow whether it is an overnight stay or not.  Got a cool rental car for cheap, but can't use it if they find a return seat to Kona on the same day as my appointment.

Yeah, mappings are intense, you can't hardly decide if you like what you hear in the quiet surroundings of the audiologist's office.  But I'll find out real soon, tomorrow morning.  I gotta go pack.

Talking from different rooms

Now most of you have done this all your lives, but this is a new thing for me.  Just the concept of understanding someone from another room is very foreign to me.  Yet the chance to hear a compliment from someone in another office without her having to get up to talk to me...ah well if you haven't been deprived you might not see it as the major milestone that it is.

I can also hear my audiologist over the phone pretty well.  He's got this deep clear bass and it is a pleasure to talk on the phone just like anyone would.  However this captioned telephone I have at work is spoiling me.  I really need to go cold turkey and not use the captioning, but I'll wait until the mappings clear things up a bit more.  But I did handle part the phone business at home regarding the installation of a new appliance.  I've avoided the home phone, but that morning, since it was the expected arrival day, I answered the phone.  It came through as the Lowe's deliveryman telling me that they would arrive in 10 minutes.  It was quite the relief to hear that much.  I figured if there were any other questions, the deliveryman could ask me upon his arrival   

Then the phone rang again, this voice not so easy to hear, but I recognized it as the needed technician to install the gas to propane conversion kit.  Since that person wanted to talk to my roommate, I just gave them her number and let that one go.  But I need to be in a position of making "cold calls" like that.  But it would be nice to practice on software, but I'll just have to hunt up some 800 numbers that have lots of dialog with a machine...not a person...just so I can listen. 

Well that sums up today, though I did also hear every word of a person sitting beside me, but when she got 10 feet away, it became far harder to understand.  The room is not conductive to clear dialogue with its high ceilings.

Choosing between different programs

While listening to a live classical musical concert tonight tonight, I tried two different programs on my CI.  The  older program put out stronger bass, but I wasn't sure if the bass was clear quality.  The disadvantage of that program is that it doesn't have the special settings to reduce triggering the facial nerve.  I always turn the volume down before switching to that program because the twitching is quite overpowering if the volume is carried over from my newer program to the old.

I always thought this older program(3)  would give me the best in musical sound, because it had a depth missing from the newest program(1).  Now it isn't clear, because I've increased the volume on program 1 which offsets the lack of depth.  So it now is a choice between lower volume, more twitching, more depth (program 3) and louder volume, lesser twitching and musical quality suffers some, but not as much as I perceived(program 1).

Back to the symphony, it sounded awesome.  The choir took second place to the violins, because I thrill to hear the exquisite notes of the violin.  Many of my desires of hearing again have been met.  I wanted to sing with my eyes closed, and still sing in synch with the others, that has been a success.  I wanted to hear the guitar, the piano, the voices and this comes through in spades after just four months.  I thank the Lord for an evening like tonight, because it just wouldn't have happened without his intervention.  The remaining desires are:  getting rid of this twitching (without losing sound quality), and being able to sing along and hear the pitch I'm singing along with.  Can't seem to do both.  Either the music is so loud it drowns my voice out, or my voice is so strong that it drowns out the notes I'm trying to stay in key with.

One thing is very obvious over the past four months...I want more volume, then after I get used to that level, I increase it yet again.  I'm finally approaching the final level...I think.  What sounded loud two months ago is now way too soft.  But I don't think that will continue.

The wonder of hearing a violin

For the first time, I heard the violin without other accompaniment.  Oh it was candy to my "ears" I loved every single note, the sound so rich and full.  When the drums, keyboard and other guitarists joined, the violin faded into the mixture, but by itself, I could listen to it all day.  I wanted to take a picture to remember that moment.

They also had a choir, of Korean and Americans singing a selection from Vivaldi.  There were two violionists and one cello player, and I heard them okay, but the memory of the first player really tugged on my heartstrings.

Afterwards, someone was exercising using a jumprope.  First I heard the feet landing after each jump, but then the whizzing of the rope came into focus.  That's another first for today, so I just love this cochlear implant and so appreciate how it all came to pass that I can hear again.  Thank you Lord!

Internet at last

Wow, getting back on the broadband wave sure took a long time.  At my job, there is a lot of uploading pictures and so on, and without DSL, it pretty much can't be done unless you want to waste most of a day just loading a few pictures.  But now it is on and it's time get into a regular habit of writing to this blog.

Understanding all the people at my workplace has always been impossible before my CI, and now  I do okay with most of them.  I'll still need some adjusting done, because I have my volume up high enough that my eye is twitching again.  Oh I don't even remember the twitching until I realize that others will see it and wonder...I'm beginning not to care, I prefer the sound quality at a higher volume.

I'm catching on to accents and pronunciations that never could be heard before.  Such as the way the actors from a show based in New York saying Houston as "House ton"!  Ugh, that's an awful pronunciation, you know one is supposed to say it like Tom Hank's "H ou ston" ("ou" as is in you)

I just asked my roommate what this rhythmic sound was, it turns out to be a washing machine in another apartment.  In this new place traffic noises are louder.  For some reason the first day I moved in I didn't hear them, but they are noticeable if there is no other sound like music or TV. 

The fun part of hearing is learning the theme songs of certain TV shows.  They simply were not distinguishable in the past, now they have such a distinctive flavor, I stop and pay attention.  Hey folks, do you even hear such a thing anymore or have you tuned them out?

People will constantly ask how I hear, and answering that question does not get any easier.  My usual explanation is to say, the sounds are really nice in most cases, but there is not enough sound information for me to separate layers of sound.  I can't quite pull out a voice from the clatter of competing conversations such as in a dining room.  If an engine is running, same thing happens.  I don't mind using my eyes to understand conversations, however it is a backup tool rather than the only means of  hearing people.

I listen to music on my computer using my headphones and I can hear all the pitches, drums, sometimes the cymbals, the snare drum.  I'm still learning what instruments are playing.  Apparently one of them was a flute, I mistook it for a violin, but my hearing really is only 4 months old.  From Jan 25 until today...

Staying connected

Getting a chance to update this blog has been complicated by the fact my internet connection is not working.  I've hoped today would herald the arrive of my reconnection to DSL after my move, and it hasn't happened.  The idea of being stuck on tech support...really appealing huh.  Well I called one number, ended up on hold, put the phone down since it was a long wait and finally got through on my second go around..a total of 45 minutes of waiting.  Then they tell me to call DSL support.  Another long hold!  Oh the joys of telephoning....  But after constantly checking to see if a live person came online, I reached the DSL support.  They checked one thing and told me to call the first number back...and they were closed.  That's the disadvantage of living in Hawaii!  If they close at 5 p.m. Central Time, that means I have to call by noon Hawaiian time.   This one closed at 9 p.m.CST and so by the time I called back the orginal number they had gone home.

New sounds are not immediately noticeable, but I can remember being at Costco gas station and thinking to myself I hear all the beeps of the keypads of my machine and the others.  Never even thought about it before.   Phone use is going to depend on some more mappings.  I still hear many words, but not enough to put them together all the time. 

But the exciting thing that happened today was getting two-line CapTel.  It took another call to find out what else I needed to do activate it, but now it is working.  It confused me in the beginning, because the the CapTel phone had been putting in the required "9" to call out and now with the new setup, I need to remember to key the entire number...no more shortcuts!  But once I figured that out, I'm going to have to make calls so that people call me back.  Being out of circulation for so long, it is amazing that I have to generate some phone traffic!  I've been a phone avoider most of my life.

So I plan to write far more often, but need to get this internet connection straightened out.  Until then...check back at least weekly.